Introduction

In the gay community Tinder is arguably the more relationship-oriented app compared to something like Grindr. Tinder for love, Grindr for sex. You’ll hear that often. Apps like Hinge and Bumble offer another path towards love, but they simply don’t have the robust user base that Tinder has, leaving Tinder on top when it comes to finding a relationship online for gay men. Combined with the historical norm of gay men being unable to express their desire for another man in public out of a fear of rejection or aggression (apparently knowing that the guy is gay first is an unspoken prerequisite?), it’s understandable that so many men seek men online, where they feel safe. I believe this will change in time, but for now let’s take a look at how Tinder works for us here in Sydney.

Method

'There are 381 779 men between the ages of 25-34 in Sydney.'

There are 381 779 men between the ages of 25-34 in Sydney (Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2016). Of these 381 779 men, 4202 (1.1%) use Tinder to search for other men (primary data). This figure aligns closely with the estimated 4000 men aged 25-34 who live in Sydney, identify as gay, and are single (see ‘How many gay guys are there… really?’).

Over the course of one month a representative sample size of 500 of these men (11.9% of the 4202 users) were selected at random within a 60km search radius of Sydney’s CBD. A geographically-centred app’s user base is fluid, so to produce this initial 4202 user count, a reset profile was used to swipe through every profile available until no new profiles could be found in the area (i.e. men on Tinder aged 25-34 in Greater Sydney - this process took approximately 45 minutes and allowed for a momentary ‘snapshot’ of the total users to be obtained). Greater Sydney includes the Western Suburbs out to the Blue Mountains, up to the Northern Beaches, and part of the Central Coast. To the south, the proximity of the next city, Wollongong, was taken into account - using a search radius any larger than 60km would start to include men from that city.

The randomised swipe function of the app allows for an unbiased presentation of men in terms of age and proximity. A profile was only selectively overlooked if it contained no image of the user at all e.g. a landscape or object.

'The research profile was left online for a month and collected 1350 likes.'

To account for any algorithms that may be causing bias based on selection preferences, and to collect richer data, the additional functionality of Tinder Gold was utilised. One such function is to see the users who have already ‘liked’ (swiped right) on you. The research profile was left online for a month and collected 1350 likes (i.e. 32.1% of the 4202 users liked the profile). NB: not all of those likes would have come from the same 4202 users over the course of a month as people visited and left Sydney, but it can be used as a point of reference, as long as we assume that a man’s interest and tastes don’t change when they visit or leave a location.

250 users were sampled chronologically (thus still at random) from the list of men that liked me. Profiles that appeared to now present outside of the search radius were ignored. To reach the sample size of 500, the remaining 250 men were collected from those presented at random in the standard carousel. There were 250 men who liked me, and 250 men who may not have.

The profile used was my own, including images and a profile description that I genuinely would use on the app. I would like profiles that I genuinely felt attracted to either physically or physically in conjunction with their profile bio. This differentiation was captured in a question related to why I liked them: to have sex with them, or to go on a date with them.

All data was collected using a 27 question online survey that was completed 500 times over.

For reference, I was 28 years old at the time of this study.‍

Key findings

Using the sample size of 500 men, the following data has been extrapolated for 4202 men seeking men between the ages of 25-34 using Tinder in Sydney.‍

Who are we?

• 25 year olds are the most prevalent (14%) with the number of users decreasing gradually with age down to 7.6% by 34 years old. This correlates with the finding that the majority of Tinder’s user base is on the younger side (GlobalWebIndex)
• 99.4% are single (assumed unless stated otherwise).
• 1.2% identify as bi, trans, or non-binary in their profile bio.
  

How do we express ourselves?

• 60% have a profile bio that describes themselves in a basic manner, with only 39% of these men going further and describing their personal qualities. 22% have no profile bio at all.
• in general, men prefer to describe their interests rather than describing themselves.
• the top 5 values or interests to subscribe to are: hiking/nature/outdoors, travelling, the gym, food, and adventure.
• 86% do not express what qualities they are looking for in the other guy.
  

What do we look like?

• 52.8% are caucasian, 23.3% are asian, 13.2% are hispanic and 6.2% are of middle eastern origin.
• 12% have a height of less than 5’7” (174cm) or greater than 6’1” (186cm).
• 10% have a significantly muscular physique, 25% are toned, 21.8% aren’t overly muscularly defined (this could be considered the ‘normal’ man’s physique), 17.2% are slim and 22.6% are chubby.
• only 8.6% of profiles were classified as being exceptionally physically attractive. This assessment was based predominantly on their facial structure, though did take into account their physique.*
• no racial bias was statistically observable in the classification of a ‘very physically attractive’ man, with the racial prevalence almost identical to the above.
• the more physically attractive a man is the less likely he is to describe himself.
  

* this is one of the most subjective data points, but considerable effort was taken to ensure consistency.

What are we looking for?

• 62.7% do not specify what they’re looking for.
• of those who do specify what they’re looking for, the majority want friends/mates (16%), followed by dates (12%), followed by a desire to ‘see what happens’ (7.2%) - very often specified in that order.
• only 8% express a prioritisation towards relationships over mates.
• finding a date is most often described as a type of bonus or addition to finding a friend or ‘mate’, e.g. ‘mates, dates, and see what happens’.
• there were just over 40 different words or terms used to define what it is that they were looking for. There was considerable variation in how users would communicate that they were essentially after a partner. Terms included: dates, connection, relationship, friends with benefits, new people, LTR, adventure, cuddles, mates and maybe more, boyfriend, Mr. Right, something serious, something more, someone special, something with substance, something meaningful, best mate, love.
  

How do we act?

• only 20% message when a match is made.
  

Who do I like?

• 68% of the guys I liked were white, 14% were hispanic, and 11% were asian, suggesting some racial preference.
• 37% of my likes were for guys I described as ‘very physically attractive’, as opposed to the 62% that I described as ‘moderately attractive’.
• 32% of guys liked my profile.
• I’m attracted to 7% of the gay men on Tinder.
• 80% of the guys I liked were only out of a sexual attraction (i.e. lacked personality markers I look for to consider a date or relationship).
• considering all of the above, and out of all 4202 guys, there are 56 guys (1.3%) in Sydney on Tinder that I would consider getting to know more in the pursuit of a relationship.
  

Discussion

'There appears to be no difference in the way we express our values and interests online, gay or straight.'

There is so much that could be unpacked from this data, and some fascinating discussions to be had. However, there are two observations that are particularly significant to me: 1) how we express ourselves on the app and 2) that I would only consider 1.3% of guys for a relationship.

It appears that talking about the concept of adventure, travel, or your love of dogs really takes the cake when it comes to online profiles. This correlates to another Tinder study of 10 000 US Tinder profiles that found buzz words like travel, music, outdoors, and adventure were the most common (Hempenius, 2016). Alternative studies like this prove the reliability of the data found herein, and also demonstrate that there appears to be no difference in the way we express our values and interests online, gay or straight. Apparently we all want to describe ourselves as being exactly the same as each other? Interesting. To me, that comes across as a ‘please like me’ mentality, or simply that they don’t know anything about themselves that makes them unique. The fact that we use about 40 different words or terms to define what we’re looking for - the majority of which essentially mean ‘a relationship’ - could be evidence of the non-committal and even confused nature of many men.

'I know I have some significant mental, emotional, and physical qualities to offer a guy, so I want my equal. Is that wrong? Could that be dangerous?'

I’ve always felt that I couldn’t find many dates because I wasn’t holistically attracted to enough of the guys I found online and elsewhere. I’ve always wondered whether this was because of the fish in the ocean, or something that is going on inside my head. 1.3% is not a large proportion at all. I’ve even found myself thinking ‘I want in another guy what I have to offer’. It’s like my self-confidence gone awry. I know I have some significant mental, emotional, and physical qualities to offer a guy, so I want my equal. Is that wrong? Could that be dangerous?

Out of curiosity, and as a very quick experiment, I jumped on Tinder as a straight woman looking for men and swiped through roughly 100 profiles. On average there were far more men exhibiting masculine physical traits (broad shoulders, facial hair, engaging in certain activities in their photo’s, even being with groups of other men), and, even though I’m not attracted to ‘big’ guys, facial hair, or muscle, I found myself liking a lot more profiles. The men just seemed more handsome and attractive to me. But was this because I knew that they were straight? Were they giving off signals that I don’t see amongst gay men? Or, genetically speaking, are straight men just more attractive on average? It certainly gives weight to the argument that being gay is not a genetically isolated disposition, that it comes with a visible physical expression (i.e. 'gay face'). There’s also a lot to be said about the torture of being a gay man when you don’t have access to the plethora of straight men in the world…‍

Conclusion

To keep this article relatively digestible, I didn’t want to go too far down the rabbit hole. My most basic conclusion: men have trouble talking about themselves and their feelings, and thus what they want most of all. Stay tuned for other articles that dig deeper into the results seen here. You’re welcome to write your own article and submit it too!

Oh, and the most common name on Tinder in Sydney? Tim.‍